For many of my friends doing homework it’s a nightmare especially if research is part of what it has been requested. In a time where long walks to the library and endless hours going through books is not a promising afternoon for any 10 to 12 year old boy. Computers are something distant that only few can work, like my cousin who is doing her third year on IT Engineering. For now there is no help from the IT quarter to assist us with our homework.
For many of my friends the library is the only place to find answers to some of our awkward themed projects given by a teacher who we believe has no life whatsoever. In my case everything is different! My Library is right at home, the computer with internet is my dad who knows where every single article or quote in his library is. I sit in front of him with a list of questions to which I will be given either a straight answer or an article which will answer what I want to know. To many a jackpot, to me a frustration as I think when, if ever, will I be as clever as this man who is called “dad”, and who’s genes don’t seem to be present in me in any way, shape or form.
Learning, being educated and wise is one of my big challenges as I grow up, the reality, my lifelines and hyperactive personality don’t go down well with the hope of being academic and which I think will make me wise and intelligent too. On the other hand I have a mother whose contribution, as all the mothers that I know, is to tell me that a good in the education gives me a good job, a good job gives me profit, profit gives me power to have access, and power gives me influence. Education, profit, power and influence give me status. I feel a huge weight on my shoulders, I am barely 15 and I have all these things to think and to develop and it seems that time is running out and I am not doing remarkably well.
Life hasn’t got a remote control, not that many TVs have remote controls in the 80s. We are just happy to have a colour TV at home, TVs with remote controls are a rare breed, my dad’s remote control is me, as he tells me to change the channel every time he gets bored with a channel. But if life had a remote control I could pause, rewind and try again, unfortunately there isn’t one and life continues, all I have is the formula given to me by my parents. Knowledge + Profit + Power + Status = The Solution.
The Idea of God is something that pops in and out as I am growing up, but I am too busy right now trying to get hold of the formula for my good fortunes. It is all about knowing, understanding, being capable, doing better than others, having more, storing plenty, exercising power and fighting to climb up the ladder of status.
I am busy running my life, or thinking that I do. I know that I am not doing that well, but there is nothing more but to continue trying. The secret I have discovered is never to admit that you are not doing so well. That was not told by my parents, I learnt that by myself. I am proud I have my own discoveries. God has popped into my life. It was not me that was looking for HIM, it seems that HE rather was looking for me! Not sure what to make of it. But He seems not to be going anywhere any time soon at least. He becomes like an unexpected guest you don’t necessarily invite but you accommodate them in your house as you continue with your life.
God now is my guest. I feel bad at times so I dedicate time to Him so He doesn’t feel like I am not being a good host or make it too obvious that He was never expected. As time passes I learn to have Him there, I guess He is moving from being a guest to becoming a part of the members of my house, my life and ultimately now the ruler.
Some time has passed and I come to realized that He has been there for some time now; I have a better thinking to the Idea of having God there not as guest but as part of my house. I am thinking that the way to get to figure who God is must be by knowing, if I know all about Him, if I understand who He is, I will figure out what God is doing in my house and life. If I know about Him, I will profit, will have power, influence and status. The formula that was giving to me years ago and that has ruled my life ever since.
A new formula however was taught by Him after I failed to get anywhere with Him using my formula. We can use our intelligence and reasoning to help us to discern, to engage and to understand at times, but we cannot use our reasoning as the pillar of our faith, as the way to knowing God or to let God be known to others. When knowledge comes to an end due to pain, hopelessness and suffering, the power and gentleness of His Spirit gives us another type of knowledge, a knowledge that reveals God’s love and care for us, bringing the principles of His kingdom to us. The peace that He gives and that no one else can, not even knowledge provides.
It is not about a formula that teaches me to get and to care for me primarily, on the contrary it is a formula where knowledge is founded by faith in God, profit comes from giving, power is not to take but to transform, and status is not to be on top but to serve. Now-a-days God is not a guest or a member of my house; HE is the ruler and Lord of all I am.